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I am a nurse at a small nursing home. I started working there after my divorce. The stress of hospital nursing had caused part of the problems with my husband and contributed to our marriage’s demise. I switched to the nursing home as I was able to get a regular day schedule which is important now that I have to raise my son by myself. The pay is not particularly good, but I can be home when he gets home from school. Between work and raising my son, there is not much time (nor money) left for a social life. Adjusting to working at a nursing home was tough. The residents usually have irreversible conditions associated with the aged. I am a person who has always tried to touch patients personally and it is tough seeing these people suffering, and often being ignored by their family, left to live out their final days. Most of the staff seems uninterested in the residents and unmoved by their situations. One of the nice features about working at a nursing home is that you get time to know the residents as they are not always coming and going. But it then is extremely tough when one of the residents passes away. One of my favorite residents is Jack. He is an 82 year man who acts like a gentleman of the old days.

He is extremely slim (partly the result of one of his maladies) and has very distinctive gray hair and a mustache. He is what everyone would want for a grandfather. He is still partly mobile and takes his daily walk around the facility. He has a private room (must come from a wealthy family). Jack’s grandson, Bill, is the only visitor that I have ever seen him have. He comes about once a month and Jack really looks forward to his visits. Jack often brags about his grandson and how successful he is. Jack’s pride and joy is his VCR which Bill gave him for Christmas (Most residents spend most of the day watching TV). He is unable to program (his hands are too unsteady) but does have a small collection of tapes that he likes to watch. They tend to be mostly musical and older style shows (black & white). Bill would often bring a tape or two for Jack. They often would disappear into Jack’s room and watch tapes for hours behind the closed door (this is out of the ordinary in nursing homes where the doors are kept open for most of the day so that we can monitor the residents as we walk the halls). Bill was visiting one early summer day when I knocked on the door and entered with Jack’s afternoon medication. They quickly turned off the VCR but not before I could see that a naked woman dancing on the screen. They both were obviously embarrassed and looked like a couple of small boys caught with there hand in the cookie jar. I pretended to have not seen anything and left after making sure that Jack had taken his pills. It didn’t really bother me that they were watching X-rated movies (I guess being a nurse you get use to naked bodies and they lose some of their shock value) but wondered whether the film could affect Jack (I knew it couldn’t have physically, but men are so much more visually stimulated then woman that he might still be psychologically stimulated). Bill came to the nurses station before leaving and asked to talk with me. He apologized for the film and explained that Jack had a larger collection of adult films before he went into the hospital and had given it to Bill. Jack still liked to watch his films so Bill would bring a couple by each month and leave them for Jack.

He said that he was a little worried whether it was dangerous, but it seemed to be one of the thing Jack really enjoyed so he had a hard time saying no. I assured him that it wouldn’t hurt Jack as long as he viewed tapes in moderation. I told Bill that it could be our little secret (he looked relieved). A month later, Bill came to visit again. We waved as he came in with a small bag under his arm (more tapes I guessed). I had already given Jack his medication so they were left alone. Bill came looking for me when he was done and wanted to talk again. He told me that he had been given a temporary assignment overseas. He would be out of the country for over six months and was worried about Jack. He felt especially bad about not being able to visit at Christmas. He wanted to know if he could send a package to me to make sure that Jack got it (it is not that unusual for presents and other valuables of residents to “disappear”). I told him that I would be glad to help. I asked him what he was going to do about the films. He said that Jack had a place where he could hide only two tapes so he just would have to wait. I ended up offering to hold some tapes and trade them out occasionally. Bill was unsure how Jack would react as he thought he was hiding his little hobby. Bill said that he would think about it and would talk to me in two weeks when he came for Jack’s birthday party. We try to make birthdays a big deal. Jack had become a special pet of mine so I decided to get him something special. I went to the local video store and got him Playboy’s Lingerie Fantasies. We gathered all the residents in the community room and had cake and ice cream to celebrate Jack’s birthday. Bill was there too and he told me that he had brought a box of tapes and was going to talk with Jack. Jack was a little tense as he knew that Bill was leaving the following week for Europe. After dinner and helping all the residents back to their rooms, I stopped in to visit with Jack and Bill. I brought along my gift for Jack (we do not allow present exchange at the parties so no one feels left out). Bill helped Jack open the package and they were both surprised. Bill hadn’t talked with Jack about me helping out, but I told him not to be embarrassed and that I would keep his secret. He seemed relieved. I left to medicate a few other residents. Bill caught up with later and we walked out to his car. He took the box and put it in my car. Later, I put the box on the top shelf of my closet so my son couldn’t get into it. The following weekend, I was having the rare luxury of a weekend alone. My ex-husband and his new wife were taking my son on a camping trip. Saturday, I spent the day mostly doing chores like laundry and vacuuming. That evening, I turned on the TV and put my feet up. I couldn’t find anything I was interested in to watch (mostly summer reruns).

Then I remembered the box of tapes. When we were married, my husband rented a couple of x-rated films. It had been good for and evening and we ended up in bed trying to recreate some of the scenes. There was about twenty tapes in the box. Some were in slick professional boxes and others were in blank tape boxes. I took a couple of the blank boxes ( I was curious) and closed the drapes and popped one into the machine. It turned out to be what is called an “amateur” type tape. It was an ordinary couple (which later turned into a trio when a second woman arrived) making love. No plot but plenty of action. As I mentioned earlier, I don’t have much of a social life. I haven’t been with a man (or woman, animal, vegetable, inanimate objects, etc.) since my marriage broke up. My only release has been masturbation, but even that hasn’t been too frequent. I found my hand gravitating to my lap as I watched the first tape. When it ended (it was only 30 minutes long), I went to my bedroom and removed my clothes and put a robe on. I took a towel (so I wouldn’t stain the couch) and returned to the living room. I put in the second tape and sat back. It featured a very pretty girl masturbating. Soon, I was mimicking her actions. I really enjoyed myself that night and vowed to improve my sex life, even if it just meant more masturbating. I found a note from Bill in the box. It said that Jack preferred tapes with lots of women, mostly solo and to always make sure that his stash had atleast one of these. At first, when I brought in tapes to trade out with Jack, he was embarrassed, but as the weeks and months pasted, he grew more at ease. We would often talk in the afternoons (but he would never bring up the subject of the tapes or ask for new ones, preferring to wait until I chose to bring in a new one). I was finding that I was rolling the TV into my bedroom after my son had been put to bed atleast twice a week. Many of the films featured women playing with toys. I wanted to experiment with them but did not know where to get them. Our town has a couple of adult book stores, but I did not know if I could get up the nerve to go in one.

Also, I wasn’t even sure that “book” stores would carry anything like that. Finally, my curiosity got the better of me. One night after work, I sent my son over to a friends house to play and changed into blue jeans and a sweat shirt. I put a baseball cap on and wore sunglasses. All in all, I thought I looked pretty nondescript. I parked in front of a nearby store and walked to the entrance. The store had racks of magazines on one side and racks of video tapes on another. There was a display case with a large variety of toys. The man behind the counter gave me the once over and then turned back to his TV. There were a couple of men looking at the merchandise and I saw one disappear into the back where they showed films. I looked at the magazines briefly and then at the tapes. I picked up a tabloid about x-rated movies (Video Xcitement, I highly recommend it) and wait for the remaining man to pay for his purchase and leave. That left me and the cashier. I pointed to a vibrator and a large dildo and the cashier took them out of the case. I was turning three shades of red as the cashier smirked while putting the items in a bag. I quickly paid for my purchases and practically ran from the store. I drove home and hid my purchases in my dresser before picking up my son. That evening, after putting my son to bed and finishing my chores, I pulled the bag out with my purchases in it. I set them all out on the bed and disrobed. I opened the vibrator first. I had forgotten to get batteries, so it had to be put aside. I then opened the dildo. It was a fairly large model, about 9 inches long and four and a half inches wide. I laid back on my bed and closed my eyes and fantasized as I gently fingered myself. After a couple of minutes, I was wet enough to try out my new toy.

I slowly inserted it. It was far larger than anything I had ever experienced before. I could not get the full length in, but it felt awfully nice. I closed my eyes and proceeded to stroke the plastic phallic in and out. It felt so good that I had to be careful not to yell out. I had a couple of nice cums from the toy and went to sleep satisfied. The next day, I remembered to pick up batteries for the vibrator. That evening, I thought I had died and went to heaven. The buzz of the vibrator felt so good. My big concern was the noise that it made (and that it made me make!). I needed to be careful not to wake my son. I also had a chance to look through the copy of Video Xcitement. It had some really neat ads and articles. I had wondered what source Bill had for amateur tapes, and now I know where to find them. Bill had been calling Jack about every other week, and would often talk to me afterwards to see how Jack was really doing. Things were actually going pretty well and Bill seemed relieved. His biggest fear was that Jack might die while he was overseas and then he couldn’t be there for him. In November, Bill was concerned about Christmas. He wanted to get Jack something special, since he couldn’t be there with on Christmas. Its always tough to find gifts for a person in nursing homes, as they don’t have room for a lot of possessions. Most food items have to be checked carefully too, as most residents are on special diets (Jack was on a restricted diet that did not allow to many treats like chocolate, etc.). Bill asked to send the presents to me, so that I could be sure that Jack got them. I was trying to think up something extra special for Jack also. We had become good friends, and I didn’t want him to be depressed on Christmas day. Speaking of Christmas day, I wasn’t looking forward to it as I knew that I was going to have to work. I worked out with my ex-husband to take my son for Christmas so he could have a normal Christmas. He would spend most of Christmas eve with me, and then I would drop him off at his father’s house. It was important to me that he wake up Christmas day and celebrate traditionally. I was a bit depressed that I wouldn’t be able to be a part of that celebration, however.

I’m afraid that is one of the trade offs to having a regular schedule was working holidays. Anyway, so I was still trying to think up something special. I even went back to the adult book store to see if they had anything interesting. But at that point, it seemed like all they had was more of the same. I picked up another copy of Video Xcitement and looked for some tapes from there that might interest Jack. There were a couple possibilities. There was an article on making your own home movies and I wondered if I would enjoy trying that. That gave me the idea to make a tape for Jack’s Christmas gift. It would work out well since I could be sure that he wouldn’t share it with anyone so no one else would see it. I just wasn’t sure if I had the nerve to do something like that. Finally, I decided to make a tape and then decide if I would give it to Jack. I watched a bunch of the amateur tapes and decided what parts I liked and what I wanted to do. I realized that my favorite films had obviously been filmed with a camera person as the camera angles changed and there were close ups. Some, however, were taped with one fixed camera angle. I decided that I would have to use a tripod as there was no one that I trusted to be my camera person. I waited until a weekend came along that I would have off and that my son would be visiting his father. I was able to borrow a camcorder from the nursing home (they have one for use for insurance purposes even though it doesn’t get used much). I already had a tripod for my camera. I brought in some of the lights from the living room and removed the shades. I was all set to go. I planned to start slow. I set the camera up aimed at a chair. I put on a tape of Christmas music in the stereo and started the camcorder. I was dressed in a green Christmas sweater and red slacks. I said hello to Jack and told him this was my special Christmas gift to him. Then I read him the night before Christmas. That should satisfy anyone looking at the tape from the beginning that it was just a boring home movie. When I finished reading the story I asked if Jack if he had been a good boy this year and told him if he promised to keep it just our secret, I had a special treat for him. I got up and turned the camcorder off. I replayed it and it looked fine. I stopped it short of where I got up and turned the camera off. Then I repositioned the camera to aim at the closed drapes in my window and to give a larger view. I started the camcorder and stood in front of the drapes. I started stripping to the Christmas music. First the sweater came off and then the slacks. I had just removed my bra when the music tape ended. I had forgotten to rewind after reading the story.

I rewind the music tape and reviewed the video tape. I decided to restart at the end of the story as for part of the strip show I had been out of frame. I repositioned some lights and moved the camera back. Also, I made some mental boundaries as to how far I could move and still remain in the frame. After redressing, I restarted the music and then the camcorder and tried again. Things went smoother the second time and I found myself more relaxed and at ease. Soon I was down to my panties again. I turned away from the camera and took them down slowly. I turned back around facing the camera and danced for about a couple of minutes. Then I turned the camera off again. I rewound the video tape and watched it. It was strange, but exciting to see myself stripping on the TV. I left the camera where it was and decided to do a costume change. I put on white stocking and a garter belt (a present from my ex-husband when we had been on better terms), a lacy white bra and panties, and then my white nurse uniform dress and cap. I thought Jack might appreciate the costume, even though I don’t usually wear the white uniform dress in favor of more comfortable light green slacks, etc. This time I stripped to rock and roll (Robert Palmer’s “Simply Irresistible”). I took everything off except the stockings and garter belt. By the time I was finished I was hot from the lights and the dancing. I reviewed the video tape and subconsciously, my hand traveled down to my crotch. I had gotten it right on the first “take” so I could continue on with my tape. Though badly in need of relief, I set the camera up aimed at the bed. I set my toys out and turned the stereo off. Turning the camcorder on, I jumped into the bed and laid back and spread my legs. I worked my hands on myself first, and then used the vibrator. I ended up stuffing the dildo all the way in before finishing myself off with the vibrator. Once again, I rewound the tape and watched the results of my work. By the time it was done, I was ready to go again. The only real problem with the tape was it had the fixed camera shot so there wasn’t any close ups. I zoomed the camera in and returned to the bed, hoping I had the best parts in frame. I repeated my earlier show and got off again. At this point, I was tired and just got up and turned lights off and the camcorder. I returned to the bed and dropped off to sleep. That evening, I watched the tape from start to finish. I ended up masturbating through most of the tape. It ended up running almost an hour.

I thought it looked good, except some of the close up work that I had done in the end hadn’t turned out to great. When I moved, it sometime took me out of frame. I decided the tape needed some sort of ending. I dressed in the Christmas sweater and slacks that I started the tape in. I set the camera up in the living room and moved the chair next to the Christmas tree. After turning the camera on, I told Jack that I hoped he liked his Christmas gift. I told him that I hadn’t minded helping him out with the tapes, and even though Bill couldn’t be there, it could still be a special Christmas. I reminded him that it was to be our little secret. Now all I had to do was to decide whether I was going to actually going to give Jack the tape. Bill’s gift arrived and I put it aside in my apartment for Jack. The hustle and bustle of the season caught up with me and left little time. I was busy helping my son prepare for his Christmas pageant and shopping for friends gifts. Christmas eve day came and I tried to cheer Jack up by telling him I had a special present if he was good. I could tell he was depressed, however. That evening, I went to my son’s pageant and then dropped him at his father’s. I was depressed too and went home and had a drink and watched “Its a Wonderful Life” by the light of the Christmas tree. I drank more then I should have and regretted it the next morning. The routine at a nursing home doesn’t change much, even on Christmas day. You wake and dress the residences and give them their morning medications. Some residences need more help then others and some are bed bound, so they have to be bathed and fed in bed. At noon, the home had a special meal planned and a church group was coming to sing Christmas carol’s. It was 3:00 before I could take a break and visit Jack. I had brought the tape and Bill’s present. Bill had called earlier in the morning and talked with Jack. We opened Bill’s present. It was a big package that had in it a bottle of cognac, some candy (that probably wasn’t on Jack’s diet), and a couple of old movies on video tape (not dirty movies). We had a little of the cognac, and I agreed to keep the bottle for him as it would probably disappear if the orderlies ever found it. We opened my gift and I told Jack that he must not let anyone else see the tape. He knew right then what type of tape it was. I put the tape in his machine and told him to enjoy as I left the room to return to work. The rest of the afternoon, I finished preparing for the night shift.

We woke patients from their afternoon naps and took them to the dining hall for dinner. The night shift would have to take them back, medicate them, and prepare them for bed. One of the nurse told me that Jack had requested his dinner in his room. Usually, we try to encourage residence to go to the dining hall as the socializing and movement is good for them. The other nurse thought his request was due to holiday depression, but I was worried that it was a result of my film. I was just getting ready to sign out, so I offered to take his dinner on my way out. I grabbed my coat and picked up his tray. I knocked on his door and entered. When he saw that it was me, his face lit up and he had a big grin. I was relieved to see he was in such good spirits. I asked him if he was alright, since he had asked for dinner in his room. He replied that he had gotten so excited by my present that he didn’t want to walk into the dining hall with a “woody”! I set the tray with his dinner down and could see that he still had a bulge. I asked how he liked the film and he told me that he loved it. His eyes never left me as I set his dinner up for him. I asked him if he always got physically excited by watching his films. He told me it was the first time he had an erection in over ten years! He told me that he had been trying to jerk himself off, but his hands were so shaky that he hadn’t made much progress. I knew we were headed into a dangerous direction with the conversation, but still felt myself drawn into that direction. I checked to make sure that the door was closed tightly (there are no locks in residence’s room) and pulled the seat up close to his bed with my back to the door. I asked if he needed help and he looked relieved that I was offering to help. I took some Vaseline intensive care lotion from his night stand into my hands and pulled back the blankets. I reached into his pajamas and felt his hard on. I slid the blankets back up over his body so that anyone entering the room wouldn’t immediately see what was going on. I started stroking him with my right hand. He was about average sized, though he was hard, it was not the rock solid hardness that younger men attain. Jack reached for his remote and turned the tape back on. It was set at the point where I was stripping from my nurses uniform. I felt him twitch in my hand a bit. When I had taken my bra off on the tape, Jack told me that he thought I had beautiful breasts. He said that he wished there had been some close-ups of them. I took my hand off his dick and stood up. He looked worried that he had insulted me. I told him to wait just a minute and I went to his bathroom. In his bathroom, I took off my bra and put my uniform blouse back on (but did not button it). I was feeling very excited and ran my hand over my own crotch a couple times. I returned to Jack’s room and retook the seat next to his bed. I opened the front of my blouse (but I still left it on so that I could quickly close it should anyone enter the room) so Jack could get a view of my breasts. They were very erect. Jack sighed and turned off the video tape.

I took some more lotion and my hand returned under the covers to his dick. It was even harder than before. He asked me if he could touch them and I nodded yes. His hand slid shakily up and he lightly touched my nipple. He gently tweaked both nipples and slid one finger across the tip. My nipples. which had already been erect, were burning. He again complemented me on my breasts. While my right hand was busy with Jack’s dick, my left hand slid into the front of my pants. I was very excited and was struggling to keep quiet. Suddenly, I felt a tongue at my nipple. Jack had slid his head to my breast and was sucking away. That sent me over the edge, and soon Jack was over too. I could feel the sperm dripping out of his dick. Even though he hadn’t come in ten years, his ejaculation was neither copious nor under much pressure. As he came, he groaned and leaned back his head. After he was done, I closed my blouse and went to the bathroom and got a wash cloth. I started to feel guilty for what I had done. The first man I had been with since my divorce was an 82 year old man that I had jerked off while he sucked my tits! And I was putting my job at risk as would certainly be fired if I had been caught. But, I had been excited and had certainly felt pleasure . I returned to Jack’s bedroom and pulled back the blanket. I quickly cleaned the mess up. Jack thanked me and told me he didn’t believe that he could ever feel that way again. This helped with the guilt some. I told him that we had to keep everything secret and I told him that I needed to take the tape home with me. I was worried that someone might find. I told Jack that I would bring it back, but he wouldn’t be able to keep it over night. When I got home, I had the whole house to myself as my son was spending all of Christmas day with his father and would come home the next day after my shift. I was still excited, so I went home and retired to my bed and toys.

The next day, I was still feeling a bit guilty for what I had done. But seeing Jack walking around like a rooster with a new sparkle in his eye alleviated most the guilt. The next weekend, Bill called again. After talking with Jack, I talked to Bill. Bill said he thought Jack sounded much better and was glad he was doing so well. Jack didn’t mention the tape or the incident again for some time. Then, in the middle of January, he asked me if I could bring in “the tape” again. I knew exactly which one he was referring to, and told him I would. The next day, I brought the tape in. I dropped it off in the morning and reminded Jack that I would pick it up before I left in the evening. He asked me to schedule his dinner in his room. I knew what he was thinking and I wasn’t sure that I wanted to repeat are earlier performance. But I didn’t want to hurt his feeling either. That day passed slowly. I checked out and took Jack his meal again. I dropped off his meal and told him that I needed to get home. I could see that he was disappointed, but I still picked up the tape and left. The next day, Jack asked me to stop by his room to talk. Once there, he wanted to talk about what had happened. I told him it was improper for me to do what I had done as I was a professional nurse. Also, I did not want to risk my job and the truth was that though I liked Jack a great deal, I was not accustomed to loveless sex. Jack listened and the responded. He told me that I had made him feel young again and vital. What more could a nurse ask to accomplish then to ease a patient’s pain? Also, as for it being loveless sex, he said that he cared for me a great deal but that he had no illusions about anything about a full relationship. But, he thought that it was anything but loveless sex as it was one of the greatest moments of caring he had ever felt. I told him I would think about what he had said.